Tony Lai

Safety. As we work together, it is important that you feel a sense of safety. A neuroception of safety is necessary before social engagement behaviors can occur (Porges, 2004). I hope you will experience me as someone who is warm, genuine, and kind. When I show up fully present, it allows for authentic connection. Our ability to be present, regulated, and integrated correlates with safety as experienced by the other (Creech, 2021). When I can do that, it promotes trust and mutual understanding. I am a firm believer that connected relationships are central to our wellbeing (Doran, 2021).

Curiosity. Once we have established a neuroception of safety, I will come from a place of curiosity about you and your experiences in counseling and supervision. Instead of making assumptions, I want to learn how YOU experience the world. I am naturally curious about your strengths, your culture, and your values. If you are uncertain, I will invite you to be curious about how you show up in the world. I believe they all play an important part in guiding your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. My curiosity also drives me to be a lifelong learner. I will be the first to tell you that I don't know it all. I hope we can collaborate and teach each other on your journey.

Growth. Once I have some understanding about your goals, hopes, and dreams, it is my job to help you feel more confident and competent. The expectation is not perfection, but rather improvement and growth. The Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu said, "The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step." As you grow, I welcome mistakes and see them as learning opportunities. We learn some of the most valuable lessons in life during times of great discomfort. Having said that, I also see great value in humor and play. Growth does not necessarily mean constantly doing. Sometimes the best thing to do is to be still. During our collaboration, I bear witness to your experiences, welcome ALL of you, and give grace.