I want to talk about people-pleasing, but not in the way it usually gets talked about. I'm tired of the version that frames it as a personality quirk, a boundary problem, or a self-esteem issue we just need to do the work on. That framing skips over the most important thing, which is that people-pleasing is a survival strategy that worked. It equated to safety, and sometimes to love, which kind of
There's a kind of tired I want to talk about, because I don't think it gets named enough, and because I've lived inside of it, and because the people who walk into my office almost always know exactly what I mean before I finish the sentence. It's the tired that comes from being the one who notices. It's exhausting being the one who feels the shift in the room, who registers the tightness in som
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